


i could be your perfect disaster?

by dyingDreamer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Genderbend, Karakt doesnt swear, Karkat probably has regrets, M/M, Wow, female!Dave, female!Karkat, honestly probably underage, they're teachers, what am I supposed to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:35:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9282635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyingDreamer/pseuds/dyingDreamer
Summary: title - "Ever After" by Marianas TrenchIn which Karkat Vantas and Dave Strider are genderbent.Your name is Karkat Vantas and you have a lot of regrets. But none, none at all, stem from blocking Dave Strider's job application. You just wait until your coworkers find out just how much of a mistake they made hiring her.Your name is Dave Strider and you think you just landed a sweet job teaching kids? And your new coworker is the cutest, angriest thing you've ever seen.





	

**Author's Note:**

> No idea where this is going to go or even if this is going to go. IDRK about ships other than my OTP davekat so if you want to see something, let me know.   
> If you like this, comment.  
> Wanna beta? comment.  
> Wanna asist/help/do/anything/ideas/waht yes please comment.   
> Say something.
> 
> The Karkat I'm picturing: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/09/50/6d/09506dc1907778bd929a4836c2f95e2a.jpg  
> The Dave I'm picturing:  
> Either this one: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/d9/5a/2c/d95a2ca39f73c6e2ec2799681dddb8d6.jpg  
> Or this one: http://t07.deviantart.net/uuSvngdBJ07zBsrhRc0Fudamr_o=/fit-in/300x900/filters:no_upscale():origin()/pre14/1cba/th/pre/f/2015/300/7/0/not_a_freak_dave_x_reader_by_sycopathicpanda-d9eluu1.jpg

Karkat Vantas impatiently tapped on the desk she was sitting at, one of the many pushed together to form a makeshift boardroom table. Such were the trials of being a teacher at a small school in the middle of nowhere. No budget money for nice, fancy hiring tables. She could almost remember her own anxiety sitting at the other end of it a year ago.  
Skaianet High School was miniscule, underfunded, and understaffed. It's convenient positioning next to Skaianet Laboratory made it the ideal place for the overworked scientists to drop off their children for a decent education while they worked during the day.  
Karkat hadn't expected to end up as a teacher. Honestly, even after all sorts of teacher training and more than a year on the job, she still dreamed of laying down her resignation and closing a book deal with some publisher or another.  
She checked her watch again. Five minutes late. Where was the candidate?  
This was frustrating. She had arrived to her interview on time. Then landed the job. Then started working. And when the only other History teacher quit, she was promoted to department leader. However, Karkat still retained her pride and joy, her creative fiction class that this year had six students. Anyway, that’s how she ended up on the hiring committee. Searching for a replacement music teacher (Mr. Brandeis had suffered a fatal heart attack after twenty years on the job) and part time art history teacher. This was Skaianet HS. There were not enough students to justify a full time music teacher. Such was life.  
Karkat once again looked at her watch and exhaled sharply with frustration. Seven minutes late? Who was this? She squinted. Dave? Dave Strider? This was the fourth prospective teacher to be interviewed. It had been a long afternoon.  
Of course she knew the other Strider. Dirk was a polite, albeit quiet, liaison from Skaianet who part time taught robotics, engineering, and coding and wore pointy glasses. She knew he dabbled in AI tech as well and of course had heard the rumors about Hal. Hopefully his… (Karkat didn’t want to assume, but the temptation was there) brother (?) would be … somewhat like him? Karkat could handle that. The first prospective teacher was way to bubbly, the second sounded like he couldn’t care less about music in general, and the third was aggressively condescending. If his (?) personality was anything like Dirk’s, Karkat was ready to call it a day and make a job offer.  
Karkat looked around at the rest of the table, searching for someone who would look similarly ticked off by the younger Strider’s lateness. She found none. The others were happily conversing or snacking. Kanaya Maryam, arts director and dean of students, was engaged in conversation with John Egbert, vice principal. Jade Harley, guidance counselor, was listening in and nodding along. Karkat was pretty sure the two were cousins. Jake English, definitely related to Jade, was picking through the food selection. Karkat was ready to continue mentally naming everyone when the door opened - no - was slammed open and a figure walked in.  
The woman was tall and was dressed in a red dress with a black blazer and black aviators. She was wearing heels which only accentuated her height. She slouched into the chair at the opposite end of the table.  
“Sup.” She said.  
Karkat was floored. Her eyes were burning. She was literally seeing red.  
John Egbert smiled, “Dave!”  
Dave nodded again, “Sup John. It’s been a while.”  
Everyone nodded and seemed at ease. What had just happened? John knew this mess? This was biased. Karkat was ready to call quits. She looked around and saw no similarly offended faces. What was going on?  
John nodded and shuffled his papers. “So, we have just a few questions for you today.” He looked at Kanaya and gave her a cue to speak.  
Kanaya smiled. “Hello Mrs. Strider. We are very pleased to have you here today. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your history in education?”  
Dave leaned back even further in her chair. Karkat hadn’t even known that the chair was capable of such movement. She clenched her jaw and didn’t even try and force a smile.  
“Well,” Dave started. “I’m Dave. You probably all knew that. You also probably know my bro - Dirk? Yeah, he works here, doesn’t he? He told me you needed a teacher. I can lay down some sick beats. Kids love me. I’ve never taught in a school before but,” she laughed, “I can make it work.”  
Karkat glared. No qualifications, she concluded. The committee is going to laugh her out.  
But the questions continued, Dave kept answering, and the committee continued to laugh, smile, and nod along to Dave as she detailed her various... exploits in life?  
Karkat’s blood pressure was skyrocketing by the time John clapped his hands and exclaimed that it was time for a break. A little meet and greet with the candidate.  
Karkat planned to calmly walk out and perhaps not return. At the very least, she could stand in the corner and try and convince at least Kanaya that this was a Very Bad Idea.  
But no, fate, or whatever was going on in Dave’s strange mind, determined that the second she pushed in her chair, Dave was at her side.  
“Sup.” Dave said, sunglasses still on.  
Karkat bit her tongue before she could swear. She had sworn of swearing. Even the creative insults. The most creative insults. She could not do it. “What the f...,” Karkat took a breath. “What do you want. You’ve already proven you are completely unqualified for the job. The door’s over there. And what idiot wears shades indoors.”  
Thank god John was standing far far away.  
Karkat could see Dave’s … no, Strider’s eyebrows raise above her shades. A small smile quirked onto her lips. Karkat suddenly realized she was looking up. A long way up. God, why was Strider so tall? Karkat decided not to be embarrassed. She was in the position of power here.  
“Shades? My eyes are super sensitive to light.” Karkat felt embarrassed. “And, honey,”  
Karkat braced herself.  
“Do you sit on a pile of sugar?”  
Where was this going, Karkat was ready to punch the shades.  
“Because you have -” Dave leaned in close. “A sweet ass.” She flipped her shades up for a second giving Karkat a fleeting glimpse of what was it - red? No way, quirked another smile, then stepped back.  
That was it. Karkat exploded. Enough for today.  
\---  
Ten minutes later, Karkat was in the hall with Kanaya and Egbert.  
Kanaya sighed patiently while Karkat angrily sputtered.  
Karkat could see them looking at each other over the top of her head. Her head. Why was she so short? Deep breaths.  
“She is the most unqualified person I have ever seen.” Karkat seethed.  
Egbert shrugged. Kanaya jumped in, “I beg to differ! Her resume is stupendous. She actually has experience.” She left it unsaid what all three heard. “Unlike you.” Sure Karkat wanted to be a novelist and had never so much as typed a thousand consecutive words, but low blow Maryam.  
“Low blow.” Karkat repeated, this time outloud.  
Egbert sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Karkat, the rest of the committee thinks she’s great for the job. I don’t know what to say. We’re a charter school. One slightly inappropriate -”  
Karkat protested. “Slightly?!”  
“One slightly inappropriate joke is not grounds to disconsider the best candidate we have for the job.”  
Kanaya smirked, “Karkat, you should be flattered. She’s quite the looker herself.”  
Karkat snarled. “Rein in the gay, Maryam."  
Egbert tried to glare at her but failed, dissolving into a chuckle. “Listen, Karkat, the rest of the committee is voting right now. We’re going to send Dave out, count the results, then decide to whether or not to give her a job. If the ¾ majority isn’t reached, we don’t hire her. Clear?”  
Ten minutes later it was decided. Dave Strider was getting the job. Eleven votes to one. She would be teaching the band, chorus, music composition, and music history. History. Karkat’s department. Teaching history under Karkat.  
Karkat was not happy.


End file.
